HOUSTON TEXANS
A top-three defense welded to the worst offensive line grade I gave anyone. The corners are second in the league, the edge is top-three, and the defensive half of this file reads like a Rottweiler's. Then you flip the page and find a 5.0 line and an offense grading 48. No team on this board is more at war with itself. The defense wants the top breed. The front five are why it can't have it.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 53.9. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Top-three in the league — dawg is a defensive concept, and this defense holds up the whole file.
OFFENSE
× 30%The worst line grade I gave (a 5.0, one unit, 18% of this factor) dragging down a skill group with real dawgs in it. An 8.5 back and an 8 receiver deserve better bodyguards.
HISTORY
× 20%League-middle. The ring-counter found scraps, so the franchise-vibes read — 40% of this column — is doing the heavy lifting.
COACHING
× 15%League-middle fingerprint. Goes for it when the book insists, punts when it merely suggests.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Texan on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Names that link go to that player's file in the prop room; the rest don't have one yet.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 23.2 | Nico Collins | WR | 8.0 / 10 |
| 56.4 | David MontgomeryFILE → | RB | 8.5 / 10 |
| 119.5 | Jayden Higgins | WR | 7.0 / 10 |
| 140.9 | Woody Marks | RB | 6.0 / 10 |
| 154.6 | C.J. StroudFILE → | QB | 6.5 / 10 |
| 161.9 | Tank Dell | WR | 7.0 / 10 |
| 169.6 | Dalton Schultz | TE | 6.0 / 10 |
David Montgomery is the dawg the rest of this sheet answers to — a 8.5.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Texans' part in it, breed against breed.
TEXANS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY | 1 UNIT · HOU |
Greyhound games split three ways: the paper rides against the Texans when a bigger breed shows up, rides with them against the Spaniels, and sits out the all-track-team matchups. Locked all year, graded in public. If the finesse label is wrong, the count will say so — I don't re-grade. I watch.