NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
The linebackers still play like the old regime is watching — an 8, tied for third on the board. The 7.5 running back is the last of the old guard. Everything else grades like a rebuild that hasn't told its fan base yet: an offense at 13, a rookie-priced quarterback I graded 5.5, and a vibes read living entirely off one gold-jacket era. That dome used to be the loudest building in the sport. My file says the tenants changed.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 19.9. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Bottom five. The heaviest-weighted factor in my math, and this is where the composite went to die.
OFFENSE
× 30%Bottom five. The roster sheet below is short on names and shorter on teeth.
HISTORY
× 20%Mid-pack. Under a steep table and a 6-year half-life, half this league rounds toward zero; this file floats on its vibes read.
COACHING
× 15%Bottom third. Fourth-and-short is treated as a threat instead of an invitation.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Saint on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Every name links to that player's dawg file; the PROP FILE chip goes to his page in the prop room. Anyone rated after the board froze sits at the bottom as UNPRICED — same blind grade, no market number.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 21.2 | Chris Olave | WR | 5.5 / 10 |
| 38.8 | Travis Etienne Jr.PROP FILE → | RB | 6.0 / 10 |
| 84.1 | Jordyn TysonPROP FILE → | WR | 6.5 / 10 |
| 143.9 | Tyler ShoughPROP FILE → | QB | 5.5 / 10 |
| 144.1 | Juwan Johnson | TE | 6.0 / 10 |
| 155.2 | Alvin Kamara | RB | 7.5 / 10 |
Alvin Kamara (7.5/10) is the alpha grade on this sheet.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Saints' part in it, breed against breed.
SAINTS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 3 UNITS · OPPONENT | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY |
The arithmetic is unkind: whenever the Saints meet a bigger breed, the paper is on the other side — one, two, or three units by the size of the gap. Spaniel-on-Spaniel, nobody plays. The rating is locked; if this team has more fight than I graded, the ledger will be the first to admit it. I'll be the second.