DETROIT LIONS
The coaching fingerprint is the only 100 on the board — the archetype, the staff half these aggression metrics were invented to describe. The safeties graded top-three, the offensive line top-three, and the effort is real everywhere I looked. What starves this file is my ring-counter: steep points, a 6-year half-life, and a franchise that hasn't given it what it pays for. If coaching were the whole stat, Detroit would be the board's Rottweiler. It's 15% of the stat, and the weights were set before I graded a single team.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 60.0. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Top-ten. The room-by-room grades below show where the teeth are and where the fur runs thin.
OFFENSE
× 30%League-middle. The sheet below shows who carries the identity and who just carries the ball.
HISTORY
× 20%Mid-pack. Under a steep table and a 6-year half-life, half this league rounds toward zero; this file floats on its vibes read.
COACHING
× 15%The 100. The archetype. Fourth down is treated as a dare, the end of the half is played like the end of the game, and the win-probability book gets consulted and then exceeded.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Lion on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Every name links to that player's dawg file; the PROP FILE chip goes to his page in the prop room. Anyone rated after the board froze sits at the bottom as UNPRICED — same blind grade, no market number.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2.0 | Jahmyr GibbsPROP FILE → | RB | 6.5 / 10 |
| 7.6 | Amon-Ra St. BrownPROP FILE → | WR | 8.5 / 10 |
| 47.2 | Jameson Williams | WR | 6.0 / 10 |
| 69.7 | Sam LaPorta | TE | 7.5 / 10 |
| 91.8 | Jared GoffPROP FILE → | QB | 5.5 / 10 |
| 152.7 | Isiah Pacheco | RB | 9.0 / 10 |
| 175.4 | Isaac TeSlaa | WR | 6.0 / 10 |
Isiah Pacheco (9.0/10) is the alpha grade on this sheet.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Lions' part in it, breed against breed.
LIONS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY | 1 UNIT · DET |
Greyhound games split three ways: the paper rides against the Lions when a bigger breed shows up, rides with them against the Spaniels, and sits out the all-track-team matchups. Locked all year, graded in public. If the finesse label is wrong, the count will say so — I don't re-grade. I watch.