DETROIT LIONS
The coaching fingerprint is the only 100 on the board — the archetype, the staff half these aggression metrics were invented to describe. The safeties graded top-three, the offensive line top-three, and the effort is real everywhere I looked. What starves this file is my ring-counter: steep points, a 6-year half-life, and a franchise that hasn't given it what it pays for. If coaching were the whole stat, Detroit would be the board's Rottweiler. It's 15% of the stat, and the weights were set before I graded a single team.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 60.0. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Top-ten. The room-by-room grades below show where the teeth are and where the fur runs thin.
OFFENSE
× 30%League-middle. The sheet below shows who carries the identity and who just carries the ball.
HISTORY
× 20%Mid-pack. Under a steep table and a 6-year half-life, half this league rounds toward zero; this file floats on its vibes read.
COACHING
× 15%The 100. The archetype. Fourth down is treated as a dare, the end of the half is played like the end of the game, and the win-probability book gets consulted and then exceeded.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Lion on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Names that link go to that player's file in the prop room; the rest don't have one yet.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2.0 | Jahmyr GibbsFILE → | RB | 6.5 / 10 |
| 7.6 | Amon-Ra St. BrownFILE → | WR | 8.5 / 10 |
| 47.2 | Jameson Williams | WR | 6.0 / 10 |
| 69.7 | Sam LaPorta | TE | 7.5 / 10 |
| 91.8 | Jared GoffFILE → | QB | 5.5 / 10 |
| 152.7 | Isiah Pacheco | RB | 9.0 / 10 |
| 175.4 | Isaac TeSlaa | WR | 6.0 / 10 |
Isiah Pacheco (9.0/10) is the alpha grade on this sheet.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Lions' part in it, breed against breed.
LIONS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY | 1 UNIT · DET |
Greyhound games split three ways: the paper rides against the Lions when a bigger breed shows up, rides with them against the Spaniels, and sits out the all-track-team matchups. Locked all year, graded in public. If the finesse label is wrong, the count will say so — I don't re-grade. I watch.