DALLAS COWBOYS
Dallas fans, the sub-scores are still right there. An 8-dawg receiver who genuinely plays angry, a 7.5 back, a quarterback I graded a 6.5 without malice. A defense grading bottom-third at three of five levels. A coaching fingerprint tied for dead last, and a ring-counter whose newest Dallas entry is old enough to have a mortgage. The vibes read gave the brand a 58 — which is what a famous name is worth once the January receipts stop printing.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 31.9. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Bottom third. The unit grades below name the rooms responsible.
OFFENSE
× 30%League-middle. The sheet below shows who carries the identity and who just carries the ball.
HISTORY
× 20%Mid-pack. Under a steep table and a 6-year half-life, half this league rounds toward zero; this file floats on its vibes read.
COACHING
× 15%Bottom of the league on the fingerprint. Punting is a personality now.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Cowboy on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Every name links to that player's dawg file; the PROP FILE chip goes to his page in the prop room. Anyone rated after the board froze sits at the bottom as UNPRICED — same blind grade, no market number.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 10.6 | CeeDee LambPROP FILE → | WR | 6.5 / 10 |
| 17.4 | George Pickens | WR | 8.0 / 10 |
| 35.0 | Javonte WilliamsPROP FILE → | RB | 7.5 / 10 |
| 61.6 | Dak PrescottPROP FILE → | QB | 6.5 / 10 |
| 116.5 | Jake Ferguson | TE | 6.5 / 10 |
George Pickens (8.0/10) is the alpha grade on this sheet.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Cowboys' part in it, breed against breed.
COWBOYS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 3 UNITS · OPPONENT | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY |
The arithmetic is unkind: whenever the Cowboys meet a bigger breed, the paper is on the other side — one, two, or three units by the size of the gap. Spaniel-on-Spaniel, nobody plays. The rating is locked; if this team has more fight than I graded, the ledger will be the first to admit it. I'll be the second.