LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
The safeties tied for the best grade on the board, the coaching fingerprint is top-ten aggressive, and the quarterback is a 7.5 who plays through things he shouldn't. Then there's the history column: a 1. Not a typo. My ring-counter went looking for January receipts and found lint; the vibes read couldn't rescue it either. The units belong to a Greyhound. The résumé barely belongs to anyone.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 42.8. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Bottom third of the league — for a stat that starts on defense, that's an expensive place to live.
OFFENSE
× 30%Mid-pack — some real grades on the sheet below, not enough of them to move the column.
HISTORY
× 20%Bottom five. The playoff table rounds this franchise to zero and the vibes read couldn't stage a rescue.
COACHING
× 15%Top-ten fingerprint. The chart shows a staff that plays to win the half, not survive it.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Charger on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Names that link go to that player's file in the prop room; the rest don't have one yet.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 17.1 | Omarion HamptonFILE → | RB | 8.0 / 10 |
| 35.3 | Ladd McConkey | WR | 6.5 / 10 |
| 74.5 | Justin HerbertFILE → | QB | 7.5 / 10 |
| 100.2 | Quentin Johnston | WR | 5.0 / 10 |
| 154.0 | Oronde Gadsden | TE | 6.0 / 10 |
| 161.7 | Keaton Mitchell | RB | 5.0 / 10 |
| 176.7 | Tre' Harris | WR | 6.5 / 10 |
Omarion Hampton is the dawg the rest of this sheet answers to — a 8.0.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Chargers' part in it, breed against breed.
CHARGERS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY | 1 UNIT · LAC |
Greyhound games split three ways: the paper rides against the Chargers when a bigger breed shows up, rides with them against the Spaniels, and sits out the all-track-team matchups. Locked all year, graded in public. If the finesse label is wrong, the count will say so — I don't re-grade. I watch.