ARIZONA CARDINALS
There are real dawgs here — a rookie back I graded an 8, a tight end I graded an 8, a safety room tied for fourth — scattered around a file that refuses to cohere. No quarterback priced on the frozen board, a history column reading 2, and a first-year staff whose aggression grade is my flagged guess. Individual teeth. No jaw.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 34.8. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Bottom third of the league — for a stat that starts on defense, that's an expensive place to live.
OFFENSE
× 30%Mid-pack — some real grades on the sheet below, not enough of them to move the column.
HISTORY
× 20%Bottom five. The playoff table rounds this franchise to zero and the vibes read couldn't stage a rescue.
COACHING
× 15%Bottom third on the aggression chart. The book recommends; this staff files the recommendation away. First-year head coach — no NFL fingerprint exists yet, so this grade is my educated guess, and I flag my guesses.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Cardinal on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Names that link go to that player's file in the prop room; the rest don't have one yet.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 22.1 | Jeremiyah LoveFILE → | RB | 8.0 / 10 |
| 29.0 | Trey McBride | TE | 8.0 / 10 |
| 66.1 | Marvin Harrison Jr. | WR | 6.5 / 10 |
| 80.9 | Michael Wilson | WR | 6.5 / 10 |
| 167.5 | Tyler Allgeier | RB | 7.5 / 10 |
Jeremiyah Love is the dawg the rest of this sheet answers to — a 8.0. And note pick 168: the market filed Tyler Allgeier there. I filed him at 7.5. The market prices situation. I price bite. No quarterback is priced on this team's frozen board at all — the market declined to file one. I grade what's in front of me.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Cardinals' part in it, breed against breed.
CARDINALS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 3 UNITS · OPPONENT | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY |
The arithmetic is unkind: whenever the Cardinals meet a bigger breed, the paper is on the other side — one, two, or three units by the size of the gap. Spaniel-on-Spaniel, nobody plays. The rating is locked; if this team has more fight than I graded, the ledger will be the first to admit it. I'll be the second.