CHICAGO BEARS
The '85 Bears are the reason "dawg" is a defensive word, and my vibes read pays that debt — a 78, top-six in the league. But I grade the roster in front of me: four defensive units sitting at a polite 7.5, an offense that graded 34 with a quarterback still deciding what he is, and a staff whose aggression fingerprint is genuinely top-ten. This is the middle of the pack wearing a monster's family name.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 46.7. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Mid-pack. Not the problem, not the identity. The room-by-room read is below.
OFFENSE
× 30%Bottom third of the league. The market prices this group politely; my grades were less polite.
HISTORY
× 20%League-middle. The ring-counter found scraps, so the franchise-vibes read — 40% of this column — is doing the heavy lifting.
COACHING
× 15%Top-ten fingerprint. The chart shows a staff that plays to win the half, not survive it.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Bear on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Names that link go to that player's file in the prop room; the rest don't have one yet.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 45.0 | Colston Loveland | TE | 6.5 / 10 |
| 45.2 | Luther Burden III | WR | 7.0 / 10 |
| 48.0 | D'Andre SwiftFILE → | RB | 5.5 / 10 |
| 54.9 | Rome Odunze | WR | 6.5 / 10 |
| 105.2 | Kyle Monangai | RB | 7.0 / 10 |
| 109.1 | Caleb WilliamsFILE → | QB | 6.0 / 10 |
Luther Burden III is the dawg the rest of this sheet answers to — a 7.0.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Bears' part in it, breed against breed.
BEARS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY | 1 UNIT · CHI |
Greyhound games split three ways: the paper rides against the Bears when a bigger breed shows up, rides with them against the Spaniels, and sits out the all-track-team matchups. Locked all year, graded in public. If the finesse label is wrong, the count will say so — I don't re-grade. I watch.