CHICAGO BEARS
The '85 Bears are the reason "dawg" is a defensive word, and my vibes read pays that debt — a 78, top-six in the league. But I grade the roster in front of me: four defensive units sitting at a polite 7.5, an offense that graded 34 with a quarterback still deciding what he is, and a staff whose aggression fingerprint is genuinely top-ten. This is the middle of the pack wearing a monster's family name.
The Four Factors
Each factor is normalized 0–100 across the league — 100 is first, 0 is dead last — then weighted into the 46.7. Weights are the same for all 32 teams: defense 35, offense 30, history 20, coaching 15.
DEFENSE
× 35%Mid-pack. Not the problem, not the identity. The room-by-room read is below.
OFFENSE
× 30%Bottom third of the league. The market prices this group politely; my grades were less polite.
HISTORY
× 20%League-middle. The ring-counter found scraps, so the franchise-vibes read — 40% of this column — is doing the heavy lifting.
COACHING
× 15%Top-ten fingerprint. The chart shows a staff that plays to win the half, not survive it.
The Unit Room
The raw grades behind the factors — my dawg read on each unit group, 1 to 10, with its weight inside the defense factor and where it ranks among the 32. Defense is graded by unit group this season, not player-by-player — per-player cap-hit weighting arrives when the final 2026 cap tables settle. Said loudly on the main board, said loudly here.
The Roster Sheet
Every Bear on the frozen ADP board — the market's price next to my dawg read. The two numbers were never allowed to meet: I scored the player blind, then ADP told me how much of the offense rides on him. That firewall is the whole method. Every name links to that player's dawg file; the PROP FILE chip goes to his page in the prop room. Anyone rated after the board froze sits at the bottom as UNPRICED — same blind grade, no market number.
| ADP | PLAYER | POS | DAWG |
|---|---|---|---|
| 45.0 | Colston Loveland | TE | 6.5 / 10 |
| 45.2 | Luther Burden III | WR | 7.0 / 10 |
| 48.0 | D'Andre SwiftPROP FILE → | RB | 5.5 / 10 |
| 54.9 | Rome Odunze | WR | 6.5 / 10 |
| 105.2 | Kyle Monangai | RB | 7.0 / 10 |
| 109.1 | Caleb WilliamsPROP FILE → | QB | 6.0 / 10 |
Luther Burden III is the dawg the rest of this sheet answers to — a 7.0.
Where the Paper Rides
The season-long ledger lives on the main board and grades itself all year. Here is the Bears' part in it, breed against breed.
BEARS VS THE LADDER
| OPPONENT'S BREED | ROTTWEILER | GOLDEN RETR. | GREYHOUND | COCKER SPAN. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE PLAY | 2 UNITS · OPPONENT | 1 UNIT · OPPONENT | NO PLAY | 1 UNIT · CHI |
Greyhound games split three ways: the paper rides against the Bears when a bigger breed shows up, rides with them against the Spaniels, and sits out the all-track-team matchups. Locked all year, graded in public. If the finesse label is wrong, the count will say so — I don't re-grade. I watch.